Week 5 - V4 Paper Submission Comments

13 Ways of Looking at Bill Murray

Pro- Very good at creating vivid imagery

Con- Needs to be re-edited. Several problems with sentence structure (e.g.- Gone with the Wind to escape so that they could escape/Not despite this fact, but because of it).

A Radical Expedition of Cinema's Birthplace

Pro- Great attempt at connecting a modern film to the "birth" of cinema.

Con- The author doesn't quite evaluate or analyze most of the quotes used, instead, they merely repeat the information in their own words, or vice versa.

Cinema du Corps and Avant Garde Cinematography

Pro- Fantastic thesis paragraph!

Con- Could be a bit more cogent. A little too specific and wordy, but a great paper overall.

Cinematic Expression of Ghosts in Japanese Film

Pro- Good film summaries, and good at comparing the films through the use of social beliefs.

Con- more of a compare and contrast paper, than a research paper.

Irreversible and Techniques of Looking

Pro- Very cogent, and engrossing writing.

Con- Less analysis of We F#$K Alone, and more rhetoric needed about the "sympathetic male," which was supposed to be part of the thesis.

Multi-Screen Film

Pro- Used a lot of sources, and reveals a great deal of information on the history of Multi-screen film.

Con- Reads more like a summary or an opinion of something, rather than a traditional research article. There seems to be no argument, other than laying out the history of multi-screen film.

Murders Unavenged

Pro- Great job at providing a brief history of the police procedural.

Con- With such an amazing plethora of films in the world, Zodiac is one of the weakest films to use.

Pied Piper vs. Faun: Storybooks and Female Empowerment in The Sweet Hereafter and Pan's Labyrinth

Pro- Good job of analyzing and linking the quotes used with her main points.

Con- Needs a stronger thesis. While the author states what their goal is, they do not set up the specific goals or subtopics used to reinforce their statement.

The Blues Brothers & Bollywood Masala Cinema

Pro- Very intriguing approach to re-evaluating/redefining a cult classic within the context of another culture's guidelines.

Con- Needs another pass in editing. Grammatical issues are present throughout paper (run on sentences,  misuse of commas, etc).

The Unfilmable Lightness of Being

Pro- Very large subject to tackle, so this author put in a great deal of work.

Con- Grammatical errors throughout (omission of words, creating words that do not exist, bad sentence structure).

Transmedia Adaptation in the Work of Orson Welles

Pro- Very well researched.

Con- Too much of a summary of individual films/musicals.

Boys will be Girls

Pro- Interesting connection between metrosexuality, and Guy's work from the early 1900s.

Con- Use more images, and research more statistics from the studios regarding women, films, employees, theaters, etc.